The Friendship Recession

'The Friendship Recession'

I recently read a very interesting article in the Feb Edition of the Harvard Business Review and it immediately touched a chord and resonated with me.

It talked about how "Friendship Recession" is making its way into the vernacular—a profound shift in how Americans experience & sustain friendships. 

According to the American Perspectives Survey, the % of U.S. adults who report having no close friends has quadrupled to 12% since 1990, while the % of those with 10 or more close friends has fallen by nearly threefold. 

Iam afraid that a survey conducted in Urban India will also show similar results. We are increasingly having more acquaintances & lesser number of 'Friends.'

Gone are the days when you visited a Bar, even in a new town & sat on a stool at the counter to catch up with friends or make new ones. Most people are sitting on solo tables with their back to the crowd.

A recent survey in the U.S. found that solo dining increased by 29% in the past 2 years. Stanford Univ in fact, now offers 'Design for Healthy Friendships'—a class dedicated to helping students structure their social lives with intention? 

These trends point to something more insidious: a cultural crisis. 

Time for 'Friends' is a privilege, but it is also a matter of priorities. The way we spend our time, whom we invest in & what we prioritize is shifting. Solitude is becoming more than a preference—it's becoming a default. And when not used well, the result of solitude isn't just fewer friendships—it's a fundamental loss of the ability to form and sustain them. 

If we don't consciously reshape our priorities& relearn how to cultivate meaningful relationships, we risk a future where connection—one of the most fundamental sources of happiness & well-being—fades into the background of our lives.

Institutions which were once the glue that held social networks together, places where friendships naturally formed through shared experiences are dwindling, be it religious congregations, sports & club associations, alumni groups or voluntary groups like Rotary etc. 

We are increasingly retreating inward, instead of engaging in communal activities, maybe due to social media, 'Intensive Parenting,' nuclear families or Pet care, Yes even Pet care. 

I have had many occasions when friends have refused an evening out or meeting up due to this reason.

Friendship is no longer seen as an integral part of daily life, but rather something we squeeze in when all our other responsibilities have been met.

This change is despite research highlighting the importance of friendship. 

In her bestselling memoir, 'The Top Five Regrets of the Dying', hospice nurse Bonnie Ware says one of those top regrets is, "I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends."

A study report states: "Social isolation is linked to an increased risk of heart disease, dementia and death; it can be as deadly to one's health as smoking 15 cigarettes per day." Friendship has been shown to improve mental, physical & emotional states.

A major study at Harvard spanning 80 years found that the single best predictor of health & happiness was not your wealth or your professional success, it was your close relationships & friends.

Data from the Survey Centre on American Life also reveals this basic happiness principle: 'More friends equals more life satisfaction.'

Remember that like an investment requires time to compound, so does friendship. It is not built overnight but requires effort, energy & time.

Forgive & forget,

Apologise if required,

Make the call,

Pick up the tab,

Take the trip,

Send a Gift,

Create a memory - Even if you're just doing it for your own well-being.

Just like to end with a famous couplet by Mirza Ghalib:

दोस्तों के साथ जी लेने का

मौका दे दे ऐ खुदा...

तेरे साथ तो मरने के बाद भी

रह लेंगें ।...

Be a friend & Stay Blessed Forever !